I asked him, "What is a topic a man wants to read from a woman's perspective?"
He responded with, "Why does a woman always try to change a man?"
My friend said he sees woman trying to change a man. He said he noticed that woman want a guy that does not really exist. They want a smart thug that never went to prison. He has a lot of money,
With all of these stories why do so many women attempt the impossible? I turned to my Facebook friends for help. I asked them, "Can someone tell me why women try to change or fix a man? I would really like to know... Does it work?"
Here is what they had to say on the matter:
Laura Lala Kirkland: "Hell no it doesn't work."
Pamela Fierro: "You can't change anyone."
Michael Towns: "People change only when they want to and put the work in other then that nobody can change somebody that don't want to change."
Jamie Helena: "A woman can't change a man because she loves him but a man can change if he loves her.. "
Dexter SpeaksKnowledge: "It shouldn't be about change in the first place, it should be about compromise. You don't go into a relationship thinking what do I have to change about this person, with live its whether or not you accept the person for who they are, which makes them unique. Certain circumstances will reveal issues that require adjustment but please, you and me both know baby girl if you're messing with the right person you live their flaws as much as the positives. It can open up someone's mind to think outside of their comfort zone and try to balance as opposed to dominate someone's personality. Relationships aren't a dictatorship."
Siobhan Ayers: "It took us all a very long time to know you can't change some one, and I don't know if it was ever about changing a person. I think it was more the thought of "they CAN change" and we just hoped we stuck around long enough to see it. A person won't change if they don't want too, which is a whole other lesson we all have to learn the hard way..."
Svetlana Ince: "They are dumb as beans..., you can't and shouldn't want to change ppl and they can only fix or help themselves when they accept they have problems or issues and want help...."
Although this is a small sample of people I think it was great one. The people who commented were all in their mid to late twenties, male and female, and came from various ethnic groups. While this is not a sociological or psychological research project, I think the conclusion is you cannot change a person and it's not even worth attempting.
My personal stance is, I am not an advocate of trying to change someone unless they ask for help. I have also been the one several men have tried to change. I can honestly say I hated every second of it. It took a toll on my self-esteem. I personally like the way I am. I like that I am free-spirit and completely guided by my own desires. I like how I look overall. I am by no means stick thin and I do have a slightly protruding abdomen, but overall I find myself attractive. When a man decided he wanted to change how I dress, my weight, or the way I carry myself, I found that I would get depressed. I feel it was a leading cause of me cheating and looking elsewhere for love. In the beginning I tried to appease the guy because I cared about his feelings, but later I started to feel like I could find someone who wanted me the way I am. If I feel that way, a man must feel that way as well.
Well this is me signing off. Remember all isn't fair in love and war.