By John Coston
I wasn't going to write this blog but, after a building session with the big homie, I decided to go through with it. So if you find this blog offensive, blame him and not me!!
I was having a conversation with a close female friend of mine and she said "Ever since I have known you, you haven't been faithful in one of your relationships." I was about to say something crazy to her until I thought about it. Unfortunately she was right. In almost all of my relationships, I have cheated. Now I could blame it on the A-a-a-a-a-alcohol (Jamie Foxx voice!) or blame it on the rain (Shouts to Milli Vanilli!). But, to be completely honest, I wasn't able to find what I was looking for. Now when I say that, it has nothing to do with the female. It has everything to do with finding a passion.
For years, I couldn't figure out what I was looking for in life. I knew that I was a smart dude but I didn't know what subject I was smart in. I rapped for a few years, partied a whole bunch, and, yep, messed with a few females I shouldn't have. I thought I was trying to find myself. I had a bad combination of 1.) having a good job and making money and 2.) having access to alcohol, weed and friends who didn't give a f@#k just like me. On the outside, I was living the good life. But on the inside, I was more and more depressed because I wasn't passionate about anything.
After some soul searching and a road trip from Georgia to Maine (Ill talk about that trip in a later blog), I started on a journey that would put me back in school, working a job that I enjoy, starting to lose this Dunlap (term for when your gut dun-lapped over your belt and your pants), etc. I have found a passion in Accounting. I had an slight interest in it in high school (Thanks Mr. Robey) and it developed a little more doing some bookkeeping in a grocery store in Virginia Beach, VA (shout out to the whole HT crew! Lots of shout outs on this blog!! I feel like a radio DJ naw mean!?!?). Once I took an accounting class, I was hooked. I feel fulfilled for the first time in a long time! Now some a$$clown is saying to themselves "Cool Story, Bro. But are you still a cheater?" I would say no because i have no reason to. I have some much on my plate in life that I don't have time to cheat. I feel like I'm finding everything I am looking for. Just to be on the safe side, (except for a quick summer fling) I took myself off of the dating market for a while to make sure that I am on point and ready for that time when I start looking for the right one. I want a woman to see the real and complete me, not some sloppy drunk who fondles lady parts while his girlfriend looks on in disgust (Yep, unfortunately, that happened!).
I don't believe in the phrase "Once a cheater, always a cheater." That usually said by people who have been cheated on multiple times and blame it on others without, once, looking in the mirror and asking themselves ,"What am I doing to cause all this cheating?" I think that once a person commits to themselves fully, they can then commit to others with the vigor and passion necessary. I know that I want a woman who is intellectually stimulating and funny. I prefer brains over beauty because brains last longer. (Not to say she can have crooked vampire teeth and Lebron's hairline!! Gotta draw the line somewhere!) I will continue to work on myself until I'm ready for love. Until then........
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